LeDwyane

With the NBA season a week away, the NBA chatter and coverage is heating up – and I can honestly say that pun was not intended, though it did make me laugh when I recognized it. Obviously, a lot of the NBA analysis right now is about the Miami Heat’s new trio.

Something that seems lost in the hours of Heat coverage is the overwhelming popularity of Dwyane Wade.

Of course everybody hates LeBron, in large part because of “The Decision.” But some of the ire and disappointment about LeBron seems to come from the fact that he’s teaming up with Wade and Chris Bosh, which evidently makes the King look like (1) a sellout and (2) an unabashed opportunist who is taking the easy way out (which is obviously indefensible – I mean, seriously, who would ever do that).

Wade hasn’t really taken much flak for either of those things, though. I suppose he might be less of a sellout, in the traditional sense, because he didn’t bail on his team or hometown – though Chicagoans, with their injured Carlos Boozer, might disagree.

But he’s still selling out his “legacy” in the same way as LeBron, as people like Charles Barkley have argued LeBron did in joining Wade. Wade is arguably one of the best three players in the league, so if LeBron should do it alone, shouldn’t Wade as well?

Of course not, but the question could be asked: was Wade selling out, tarnishing his legend, and generally acting like a “punk” (to use Barkley’s word) in coaxing LeBron and Bosh down to South Beach?

It could be asked, but it really hasn’t been, at least not anywhere I’ve seen. I think this comes down to Wade’s likeability.

Everybody likes Wade (with the possible exception of his ex-wife, but even that unsuccessful relationship only earned a single dependent clause in Wade’s “Off the court” section of his Wikipedia page).

Obviously LeBron and Bosh like him, as does the bombastic and occasionally enigmatic Heat president Pat Riley.

The other biggest stars of the past three decades like him as well. Kobe, who doesn’t like anybody – even his own teammates, was vocally sympathetic to Wade’s miserable situation last year. And Jordan, who seems at best lukewarm to many current players and was somewhat critical of LeBron, has Wade selling his shoes. Even Barkley likes Wade enough to do those T-Mobile commercials with him and jelly doughnuts.

And I wonder if this popularity is shielding Wade from some of the criticism, even though he was evidently a large behind-the-scenes factor in the dreaded threesome’s creation.

I also wonder which of the Big Three will have his aura rub off on the others: Will the world begin to see Wade and Bosh as villains of LeBron’s caliber? Will LeBron and Bosh bask in the glowing light of Wade’s halo? Or will Wade and LeBron enjoy the relative anonymity that Bosh earned while playing in America’s hat?

Since this triumvirate was formed with a team goal in mind (championships), it’ll be near impossible for each of the three to maintain their individual images. At some point (at least by the Playoffs), NBA fans will need to decide which attitude to take towards the Miami Heat.

(It probably won’t be the last one.)

Question of the Week:

I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to provide Quotes of the Week on Tuesdays, but considering I haven’t blogged for four consecutive Tuesdays, I’m making an exception (and probably ignoring my own rules for the remainder of the school year).

Also, I’m borrowing the question (from a Rick Reilly column):

What should the Miami Heat trio’s nickname be?

My take: Two Men and a Baby

Real frustrations

Fantasy football is…frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I like my team. I mean, I really like my team. Like, too much. One of my problems in week one was overconfidence in the players I drafted. I was confident that Adrian Peterson would outscore Chris Johnson, so I "reached" for AD with the #1 pick. I'm still fairly confident, but so far I'm wrong. Just wrong. I was confident that Jonathan Stewart's injury slow-down was over, but it clearly wasn't. He earned me one point. I was confident that Malcolm Floyd and Mike Wallace were primed to be go-to wide receivers in their respective offenses, but it seems so far that they're simply options in two offenses of varying potency.

I still have faith in all of these players but not enough that I can confidently and assuredly decide to start them over the likes of LeSean McCoy, Mohamed Massaquoi, and Hakeem Nicks who earned me a combined 38 points on my bench, almost doubling the 20 points that the four players above earned me. Fantasy football is very much a confidence game; you have to be sure of the players you're starting. But at this point, the only thing I'm sure about is my 0-1 record.

Frustrating.

At least I'm leading in my Pick 'Em group, as usual.

I reviewed Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions for the other blog. You can read that here. And then potentially find a link back to this blog in the comments section because the internet is now an enormous, self-referential Möbius loop, especially with Facebook.

For the weeks surrounding this week, three of my four classes are involved in varying degrees of Facebook discussion, so I'm guessing some Facebook stuff will begin to show up in my blogs. Speaking of which, these blogs are automatically posted on my Facebook page, thanks to the wonders of technology. So if you found this there, hi. Welcome to my blog.

Quote of the Week:

"A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? A billion dollars."

-Justin Timberlake or whoever he's playing in The Social Network

BIStrash talk

It occurred to me recently that my dome hair – for lack of better terminology – can be explained in three different parts: my sideburns, my hair, and my beard. With that revelation came a further conclusion that each piece relates significantly with a particular part of my personality and my personal experiences. Irrespective of its potential value to you, I've decided to explain those three connections. Let's begin.

My sideburns, which are usually pretty long and bushy, remind me of my childhood because I was the only five-year-old who could grow sideburns, but also because my grandfather had pretty prominent 'burns at one time. When I started growing sideburns in college – about 15 years after I developed the ability – they were even longer and bushier (and wider) than they are now. I'm always stupefied by my burnage in this picture:

There's no way I could have maintained that, but I decided to keep (more reasonable) sideburns because my grandmother once told me that they reminded her of her late husband, my grandfather, a man I greatly respected.

My haircut, which is usually pretty short, reminds me of my brother, a man who I don't respect at all but obviously love and care for. It also reminds me of college and of being young and foolish. When I was growing up, I always assumed that when I finished that process – when I was "grown up" – that I would get a haircut like my father had, which was the prototypical man-part haircut. It is classic and respectable.

Since then, I've decided (a) that I'm never growing up and (b) that I don't want to comb my hair in the morning. (The sideburns and beard are needy enough.) My short haircut is the one I decided on when I entered college (after my brother got it), and it very much represents the carefree lifestyle that I lived then and still try to emulate to this day. It's simple and low-maintenance, especially when it's this short:

The beard is something else altogether. Not since the days of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-sponsored hair gel have I spent this much time on hairstyling in the morning. (This morning my beard needed some extra attention and has taken on a slightly different look.) But rather than harkening back to my fresh-faced childhood, the beard represents my future.

If I ever want to be a tenured professor with a Don Draper bar in my office, I feel like I need a beard. Obviously, that's not essential, but I think beards are relevant to my profession. Beards speak of respect, something that I don't demand from my students through my teaching style, which is practically dependent on leveling the respect scales so my students feel comfortable in class. So the beard represents things that I need to create and maintain my desired lifestyle (distance from my students, a successful career, booze). It's also useful for pictures like this:

Quote of the Week:

"Mustrash Talk (n): A form of trash talk where Keith Hernandez delivers the trash and the talk… and the mustache."

Bloomberg sports. Hilarious.

Hurrican’t

That's a terrible title. I know.

Today, the University, as we call it, canceled classes starting at 4:00 because of Hurricane Earl. The thing is, on Thursdays (todays), most classes start at either 3:30 or 5:00, including mine.

So, my 3:30 to 4:45 class was in a liminal space. I suppose we could have gone to class for 30 minutes, but then I think I'd be obligated to stop at 4, which wouldn't have been that useful. So, short story shorter, five-day weekend.

The UNC football program is pretty much screwed this season, right as it was starting to gain (deserved) national prominence. I suppose that could be the result of cheating.

Regardless, this was to be the year when the Tar Heels made the leap to national relevance, which of course they have (for the wrong reason). However, it's becoming more and more evident that this year's team probably won't be in the national spotlight for their spectacular play on the field.

But – this argument has a lot of turns and I'm running out of valuable conjunctions – I'm fairly contented with the compliance path that the program is taking. Sure, UNC would probably have a better chance at staying in the top 25 if they kept all of their players around, but (repeat) they'd also be more likely to face USC-esque repercussions down the road.

Obviously this is a negative situation, but at least it should be a relatively contained one.

It'd be better, though, if UNC football just got away with cheating like everybody else. Or, I suppose, if nobody got away with cheating.

Question of the Week:

What's your most feared natural disaster?

My take: Even more than hurricanes, I fear tornados, even though I'm clearly situated in hurricane/Hurricanes country. There's something frightening about the suddenness and unexpectedness of tornados, like in that movie Twister how Helen Hunt suddenly wasn't hot anymore.

Noteblog

Something I may try to do more of is a notebook style of blog. Basically, it's just a list of brief comments on a number of different stories, instead of a longer piece on any one particular story.

So, yes, it's kind of lazy, but with school back in session, I don't have as much free(/writing) time as I'd like.

Pulling for the Cardinals isn't that much fun right now. During a stretch where they played the Pirates, the Nationals, and the Astros (who have a combined .406 winning percentage), the Redbirds have lost six of eight. That's not really playoff-caliber ball they're playing. I was at two of the losses in Washington and just felt miserable about their play. Even Adam Wainwright looked human on Sunday.

Speaking of the Cardinals, I just hung an Albert Pujols "poster" in my campus office. I say "poster" because it's really just a "got milk" ad from the back of an ESPN the Magazine that I had in my office. For the first time ever, I'm not sharing an office, so I decided to decorate a bit. The list so far: Pujols "poster," UNC mini basketball hoop and ball, talking Stewie doll, Pudge Rodriguez bobblehead doll, Anakin Skywalker kid's meal toy. So, basically, I took a lot of toys to my office to show off my professionalism.

I posted a review of Monday Night Combat about two weeks ago but have neglected to mention it. Reviews have been generally positive, though mine was lukewarm at best. I had a lot of fun with it to begin with but lost interest quickly. I played seriously for only a few days.

My former roommate Gregg has started a news site called Geeks and Sports. The "and Sports" part is probably fairly easy to interpret. He posts news about sports. The "Geeks" part is in reference to video game news, though I personally think geeks have wider interests than that. It's new, but it's worth checking out.

I recently upgraded my laptop. The keyboard is different and causing me problems.

My students are now blogging, which means their blogs will show up in my blog list to the right again.

Quote of the Week:

Dan LeBatard on Jay Mariotti's arrest:

"Should we wait for more details [about the arrest]? Of course. But we so rarely do in sports-hate radio and knee-jerk news reaction today, and it['s] why and how we've created things like the totally unreasonable steroid climate. Imagine if you were an athlete today who honestly, genuinely, legitimately false-positived a steroid test, and you were trying to climb out of all the crap surrounding that. Nobody would believe you. Nobody."

This comment seems particularly relevant now, considering Roger Clemens' "not guilty" plea.

You can find LeBatard's complete reaction to the arrest here.

Syllabus blues

The first week or so of the semester, I'm always bogged down with administrative stuff and basically righting wrongs like Batman. So far this semester, I've had to:

• Email about 50 students trying to get into my courses. I'm not exaggerating. It's ridiculously common this semester due to increases in student acceptance rate and decreases in available funds. Also, students seem to think I'm magic or a schmuck and can/will let them into my course without the resources to do so (in this case, primarily desks).
  
• Constantly update my lists of students in my class. This changes daily, often hourly, depending on students' moods, their awesome distaste for me, their own shifting schedules, etc. Since I used Excel sheets to track my students' progress, I have to update those sheets regularly until the enrollment settles down.
  
• Change the room for one of my classes. After a history professor did the thing I was just talking about, he ended up with a group of students too big to fit his classroom, so he requested mine. I obliged. But this butterfly effected a second history professor because I'm teaching 75-minute classes on Monday/Wednesdays while they both teach 50-minute classes on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays. The end result is that I now teach in a classroom that has a map of South America hanging in it. (It might be North America; I can't remember right now.)
  
• Correct a book order that I already corrected then double-checked on but was still wrong. After I took over one course from an instructor who lightened her load, I tried to electronically change the book order to what I wanted instead of what she wanted. Evidently this failed. Then, after receiving an email reminding us to check our book orders over the summer, I attempted to email the bookstore to verify the change. I never heard back and didn't follow up. So, my students were confused and probably disappointed to learn that we weren't using the book that the bookstore had listed. It's since been fixed, but it was a concern.
  
• Finally get a faculty ID card. I'd gone the last year or so without one. Now, I understand, I can get my well-deserved discount at J. Crew.
  

On top of that, I bought a new laptop yesterday (just in time for my fantasy football draft) because mine was being especially squirrely of late, at least in part because the Ethernet port, which I never use, seems to have failed – perhaps overheated. Customizing this new laptop and getting all of my programs to work correctly, particularly email, is time-consuming, if not downright frustrating.

There's also a building list of to-dos, including renewing my parking pass, turning in my "conflict of interest" form, posting my syllabi to my department's website, etc.

But, despite these often menial tasks, I still prefer this moment of the semester to any other moment when I'd have essays piled up, waiting to be graded.

Quote of the Week:

The announcer's call for the final stretch of this race was good enough to make SportsCenter's "Top 10" because it's pretty fantastic.

There will be a next time

Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of censorship in any form. There are a number of reasons for this, one of which is that it's generally not handled all that intelligently.

As I was driving around today, I noticed a fundamental flaw (something I've been doing a lot of lately) in the way that censorship is handled by the censors.

I was listening to that "Love the Way You Lie" song by Eminem with Rihanna, whom I just realized misspelled her own name, on Foxy 99 (the Big Stick).

In his last verse, Eminem raps, "Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall." The radio station, or perhaps it was the record company, censored the word "pissed" because that's one of those words you can't say over broadcast airwaves.

But then, like four lines later, Em raps "If she ever tries to fucking leave again, I'mma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." Of course, "fucking" is censored, but the part about lighting a person on fire is evidently fine.

I've listened to this song a lot, though usually not on the radio, and I'll admit: that's the part that makes me squirm a little (possibly because I know he might actually do it). But the censors don't seem to mind because the words used aren't problematic.

The go-to argument for censorship enthusiasts is that the government (FCC) has a responsibility to protect children from material that is obscene, indecent, or profane. The logic, which does make some sense, is that children are impressionable, like Play-Doh or pennies that you flatten to put images on them at theme parks.

But if children are impressionable and will mimic the media, shouldn't the government protect them from bad ideas as much or even more than from bad language? Is foul language, as this censorship case seems to argue, more dangerous than terrible, terrible ideas?

As much I love language and respect the power it holds, I have to say no.

If a 12-year-old repeats some dirty language he hears on the radio, that might be a bit of a problem. But if a 12-year-old lights his sister on fire, that's definitely a bad thing.

Again, let me reiterate, I'm not a fan of censorship, but if it must exist, let's at least get it right.

Question of the Week:

Considering my schedule for this semester, I have a hunch that I'll be more likely to blog on Tuesdays and Thursdays than on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays. Besides, I rarely blog more than twice a week anyway.

But, I currently have three – count 'em, three – "of the Week" features: Event, Quote, Question. Assuming I drop down to two designated blogs per week (and maintain my own arbitrary rules about "of the Week" features), then I'll need to drop one of those features.

So here's the QotW: which feature should I drop?

1. Event of the Week
   
2. Quote of the Week
   
3. Question of the Week
   

My take: Event of the Week

When I play fantasy football, I wear my Wrangler jeans

It's fun when SportsCenter turns into Access Hollywood. This morning Rachel Nichols is reporting on Deanna Favre's breakfast casserole.

So there's plenty of Brett Favre news right now, but I've yet to see the analysis that I really care about: his fantasy impact. (I've decided that fantasy football accounts for about 60% of my interest in the sport – at least at the professional level.)

Now that I'm about three wine bottles deep in the cellar of our fantasy baseball league, my attention has turned towards our football league.

Considering Favre had his best statistical season of his career last year and was the third-rated fantasy QB (at least in our league), I'd think this angle of his return would garner more extensive coverage.

To be fair, ESPN's fantasy gurus seem to assume his return and ranked him 8^th amongst QBs (again, in our league), but does that change now? Shouldn't Tarvaris Jackson lose his 26^th spot?

And, moreover, what about Vikings receivers? Two of my favorite fantasy players last year were Brett Favre targets. Can I count on them again?

These are the questions I need answered, ESPN. I don't care that Favre and teammates rode from the airport this year in a BMW instead of an Escalade.

But now I know.

Quote of the Week:

"These people [the French Football Federation] are real clowns ... I'm dying of laughter."

-Nicolas Anelka on his 18-game ...er 18-match suspension from France's soccer team

Smamateurism

And my theory regains some steam.

The college sports world is practically ablaze with news regarding the amateur status(es) of college athletes, most revolving around football. Depending on what day it is, the UNC football program is often at the center of the current controversy.

Today happens to be one of those days as the News & Observer is reporting that 49er Kentwan Balmer paid for a Cali trip for former Tar Heel (and hallmate of mine) Cam Thomas and current Tar Heel Marvin Austin, who can't seem to keep his name out of the news for more than a week right now.

According to UNC's assistant AD of compliance, a former teammate's paying for a current college students' trips isn't necessarily illegal under NCAA rules. Even so, this latest "scandal" is important enough to grace the Lead of ESPN's bottomline and will certainly be discussed in the ongoing investigation into UNC's compliance.

Regardless, this instance points to a fundamental flaw in the philosophy of the NCAA's view on college athletes: it unilaterally limits athletes' personal relationships. In fact, it practically eliminates what Jack Donaghy considers the purest expression of friendship: gift giving.

It seems nearly impossible that current professional athletes wouldn't feel close enough to certain current student-athletes to give them presents. In many cases, those athletes spend years together playing sports and building bonds and whatnot. But, again, that's not necessarily illegal.

The NCAA is more concerned with sports agents, boosters, etc. giving gifts to student-athletes. That is illegal and can lead to sanctions that punish an entire program. The purpose of this system is presumably to prevent student-athletes from becoming professional athletes while still on campus (which is a questionable goal).

The problem, as I see it, is that this eliminates the possibility of the type of legitimate gift giving that goes on in the lives of most normal people. Isn't it possible – especially considering many student-athletes come from athletic families that often have close personal ties in professional sports – that an agent or booster or pro coach might genuinely want to show affection to a student athlete through one of the most thoughtful forms of communication?

What if a sports agent – with his multiple contacts and resources in the sports world – raises his son to be the next great student-athlete? Does that mean he can't buy his son birthday presents?

The NCAA argues that student-athletes should be students first and athletes second, but they're eliminating one of the key elements of college life: free stuff. Students love free stuff. When I was in college, I'd joke that free food (especially pizza) was like currency to us. It was the only way our RAs or other community leaders ever got any sizable group of students to do anything.

But student-athletes have to be so careful.

It's frustrating, even for me.

Quote of the Week:

Obviously I could go with any number of quotes surrounding the Cards/Reds series, but there are too many good ones to choose from.

So, here's Jeff Van Gundy, from the Miami Herald:

"They [the Miami Heat] will break the single-season win record. And I think they have a legit shot at the Lakers' 33-game streak, as well. And only the Lakers have even a remote shot at beating them in a playoff series. They will never lose two games in a row this year. They have put together a much better roster than anybody could ever have expected. There is now no good way to defend them. They are unguardable. They are indefensible. They are just too good and have added so much shooting and are so versatile that they will score at will. And with Erik Spoelstra coaching, they will be in the top three defensive teams in the league, as well. The other 29 teams better hope the lockout gets moved up a year."

No! Noooo!

Well, so much for my theory. I guess LeBron really is that stupid and the Heat fans may be facing years of disappointment from "the King."

I randomly watched a good chunk of Brandon Morrow's insane one-hitter yesterday because the Cardinals game was in a rain delay and then was eventually postponed.

When I put the Jays/Rays game on, I commented to Bryan: "Let's watch a few homeruns while the Cards' game is delayed," because that's what the Blue Jays usually do: hit homeruns. They are first in MLB with 175 dingers this season (almost 20% more than #2 Boston) and hit 8 homers just two days ago.

In other words, I wasn't exactly expecting a pitchers' duel.

But, I was kind of hoping for one, since Brandon Morrow is on my fantasy team. I'd been holding onto Morrow most of the season – despite his mediocre 9-6 record and 4.45 ERA – because he's been hovering around the top 10 in Ks. And, as most of my readers know, strikeouts are very valuable in my fantasy league.

So, I was a little more interested than I ordinarily would be in a no-hit bid, especially since it seems like there's a new one every week this year. This particular one had some potential fantasy significance, though.

But here's the thing, even if Morrow had completed the no-no (worth 75 F-points), I still would have lost to the Buckster, who was on a 5-game losing streak going into our matchup. Even if Morrow had thrown a perfect game (worth an additional 100 F-points), I still would have lost by 24 points.

It's demoralizing, really. To be honest, I'm actually glad he lost the no hitter because it would have been seriously embarrassing to lose a fantasy matchup in which one of my pitchers was worth 292 points in one day.

Event of the Week:

The 6^th Annual Pig Pickin'.

The fury of a thousand Heat

I've gotten a bad rap as a LeBron defender, though more often than not, it seems that I'm simply defending myself.

But, for this blog, I will actually be defending the man. The issue, of course, is the advertisement that LeBron placed in the Akron Beacon Journal, in which LeBron thanks Akronites for their support but ignores Clevelanders.

The default response that I've seen so far, at least on Around the Horn, is that LeBron made another PR mistake or that the people advising him in this arena have led him astray once again.

But, personally, I don't think he/they are that stupid. There's no way, really.

Admittedly, LeBron has made some seriously questionable PR moves in the past (his relying on friends over professionals, his refusal to sign a Darfur-supporting petition, his wigging out about getting yammed on by Jordan Crawford), but for the most part, his decisions have specifically been geared towards protecting his image – with varying degrees of success.

I don't think that's what's going on here.

So here's my theory: LeBron is seriously pissed off at Cleveland, Dan Gilbert, the Cavs, their angry tearful fans, maybe even the Indians and Browns. And now he's feeling vindictive – very vindictive.

He certainly has some good reasons to be.

Gilbert publicly lambasted him. His open letter was the harshest, most insulting breakup letter since Shannen Doherty dumped Brodie in Mallrats. Some key words: cowardly, betrayal, shameful, heartless, callous. On top of that, Gilbert typed the message like a 12-year-old text messenger. Even I'm mad at Gilbert for this letter, and it wasn't even about me.

The Cavs fans turned on LeBron before "The Decision" was even over. At least LeBron gave it some thought before stabbing them in the back; the fans were burning LeBron's Cavs jerseys even before the NBA could print his Heat jerseys. Never mind that he made the Cavs (and Cleveland) relevant and gave them some truly fun years. Obviously LeBron made the break, but the fans made it acrimonious. Maybe, now, he's just matching their demeanor.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, LeBron might be the most upset at the Cavs. In my mind, his Akron letter gives some credibility to the whispers that Delonte West boinked James' mom. LeBron's disappearance in his final playoff games with the Cavs was the first sign that the rumors might be true and he was giving up on his teammates. Now, it seems like his departure from Cleveland may be as much about anger and disgust with everything Cleveland as it is about winning in Miami.

Again, to me, his exclusion of Cleveland from his thank you note to Akron feels more like anger and bitterness than stupidity. Maybe between basketball camps, bike-a-thons, and Miami nightlife, LeBron is punching pillows or – as Matthew would say – crying into his beer. I don't think he's using his spare time with Hooked on Phonics or practicing his acting chops for Dumber and Dumberer.

The other LeBron news yesterday was that the Heat reportedly play in Cleveland on December 2. I'm sure there will be some angry fans in that arena. I'm also guessing that an angry LeBron will show up as well. If so, this bad divorce may awaken the LeBron beast that the NBA has been expecting: not just the incredible physical specimen, but the unabashedly dominant takeover artist and winner.

The potential is there, as usual. LeBron has always had the potential, but he's never seemed to make good on it, for one reason or another. But maybe this divorce with Cleveland will be the spark to finally actualize his incentivization – a made-up phrase I've always wanted to use.

Barring a truly honest tell-all autobiography, we may never know if LeBron is making idiotic PR mistakes or intentionally and vindictively destroying Cleveland's psyche. But if it's the latter, LeBron might be more like Michael Jordan than he's seemed so far. MJ was the type to hold grudges and, more importantly, follow up on them on the court. Come December 2, LeBron has that chance.

Quote(s) of the Week:

"I know LeBron James is fantastic right now, but if he's still winning championships by himself at thirty-six on the fourth version of himself, we can start talking about him and Jordan. And only then."

"Jordan wanted to vanquish and fueled himself by overreacting to every slight (real or manufactured). Rick Pitino questioned the seriousness of his hamstring injury during the '89 Knicks-Bulls series; Jordan made them pay. The Magic knocked an out-of-NBA-shape Jordan out of the '95 Playoffs; Jordan made them pay. Malone lobbied for the 1997 MVP; Jordan made Utah pay. That's just how it went. When Bulls GM Jerry Krause—someone whom Jordan openly detested—glowingly courted European star Toni Kukoc, Jordan and Pippen wrecked Kukoc in the '92 Olympics with particular fury. Before the 1989 draft, it bothered Jordan that Krause had become infatuated with Majerle's potential, so he torched Thunder Dan in the '93 Finals and screamed 'Fuck you, Majerle!' as the Bulls celebrated right after Phoenix's final miss in Game 6. Did Majerle do anything to him? Of course not. Jordan just convinced himself that he did. That's how the man thought."

-Bill Simmons, The Book of Basketball

Hey, so I wrote a blog. It's been awhile. Sorry. Fortunately, I've seen most of my blog readers in this past blogless month, so you're probably aware of the reasoning.

There should really be a trophy for this

For the last two weeks, my blogging has come to an absolute stop because of some computer issues, as well as some temporal issues.

Speaking of, last year around this time (actually 366 days ago), I wrote a particularly time-consuming blog diagramming your 2009 MLB All-Stars and their places in my fantasy league. Considering over half of my verified readers are in that fantasy league, I figure it's a valuable enough enterprise to repeat this season.

(By the way, there's a thing, over at the Star-News site, that you might want to read.)

So, here's my best modern-day recreation of last year's table:

NL Roster

Starters

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
C	Yadier Molina	Free Agent	271	I drafted Yadi and he immediately won me the first week with a grand slam, so he does provide some offense but is clearly a defensive selection. Despite that, he had 10 more F-points at this point last season.
1B	Albert Pujols	Team Manley	677	Nowhere near as dominant as he was at this point last season, Pujols is actually 4th in the league in F-points.
2B	Chase Utley	Port City C.B.K's	409	Utley went on the DL about a day before being selected as an All-Star. He's ranked behind 9 other 2B-eligible players, only 4 of which are on the All-Star rosters.
SS	Hanley Ramirez	Dallas RoughRiders	545	Hanley's has about 36% more F-points than next best SS of either league (Tulo), so the fans presumably made the right choice here.
3B	David Wright	Byron's Wang	563	Wright has been blazing over the past 30 days, averaging 9.1 F-points per contest.
OF	Ryan Braun	Byron's Wang	544	Braun is exactly 544 F-points above the other Ryan Braun, the KC RP who is (probably accidentally) owned in 0.3% of leagues.
OF	Andre Ethier	Saratoga Redsox	599	Ethier was one of my favorite F-players last season, so I'm disappointed I didn't draft him this year, especially now that he's averaging 9.2 F-points per game, good for second amongst position players (with more than 3 ABs, Drew Sutton).
OF	Jason Heyward	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	397	Probably the most questionable fan selection, with only a .251, 11 HRs and 45 RBIs. Heyward's popularity-contest win also suggests that Stephen Strasburg would be an All-Star if fans voted for pitchers.

Pitchers

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
CL	Jonathan Broxton	BS's THE BENIS	312	Broxton is the 4th highest ranked closer, despite being tied for 14th with 18 saves.
CL	Matt Capps	Team Manley	242	Conversely, Capps is tied for 5th with 22 saves, but has 70 fewer F-points.
SP	Chris Carpenter	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	385	Carpenter celebrated his All-Star selection by getting rocked by the Brewers, so he has -10 F-points since then.
SP	Yovani Gallardo	Port City C.B.K's	496	Little-known fact, Jon was not super excited about drafted Gallardo. Now he's the 4th highest scoring SP, 2nd highest scoring SP without a no-hitter, and 1st highest scoring SP on the DL. So far, Jon's All-Stars seem very injury-prone.
SP	Roy Halladay	Saratoga Redsox	778	Clearly the best pitcher in the league. Halladay leads the league with 7 complete games and 3 shutouts. He is not, however, on pace for the 30 wins that a lot of people predicted.
SP	Tim Hudson	Port City C.B.K's	250	Kind of a surprise, at least to me. Hudson only has 8 wins, despite pitching 14 quality starts in only 17 starts.
SP	Ubaldo Jimenez	Dallas RoughRiders	658	The other best pitcher in the league has struggled a bit of late, allowing 17 ERs through 17.2 innings over his last 3 starts.
SP	Josh Johnson	Saratoga Redsox	472	Johnson is tied for 1st with 15 quality starts (in only 17 starts), but only has 8 wins.
SP	Tim Lincecum	Byron's Wang	386	Lincecum was pretty well dominating SPs at this point last season. This season, he's not even the top scoring SP on Byron's roster. (He's behind surprise Padres pitcher Matt Latos, who has 391 F-points.)
RP	Evan Meek	Free Agent	143	Our second free agent, and for good reason, Meek is one of many 2010 All-Star RPs not in his team's closer role.
RP	Arthur Rhodes	Free Agent	135	And Arthur Rhodes is another.
SP	Adam Wainwright	BS's THE BENIS	582	Wainwright is the highest scoring SP without a no-hitter (3rd overall), in part because he's tied with Johnson and potential snub Felix Hernandez with 15 quality starts.
CL	Brian Wilson	Saratoga Redsox	314	Wilson is the third ranked closer and averages 9.5 F-points per outing.

Reserves

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
C	Brian McCann	BS's THE BENIS	355	He's performing better than last season, when he didn't necessarily deserve the All-Star nod. This year he's the 4th ranked catcher behind a guy on the DL and a guy with 2 grand slams.
1B	Adrian Gonzalez	Dallas RoughRiders	656	Always a good fantasy option, Gonzalez is only 21 F-points behind 1st overall pick Albert Pujols (and exactly 1 point behind absolute snub Joey Votto). He's also behind Miguel Cabrera, whom I'll get to soon.
1B	Ryan Howard	BS's THE BENIS	547	Howard, the 7th overall draft pick, is ranked behind 7 1B who were either drafted after him or not drafted at all. At least he's not Prince Fielder (6th overall draft pick, 16th ranked 1B).
2B	Brandon Phillips	Byron's Wang	434	Phillips was inexplicably a free agent for about 2 weeks while Byron played around with on-fire Martin Prado. Now, he has both.
2B	Martin Prado	Byron's Wang	526	Prado, who has eligibility at 2B, 1B, and 3B, is only behind Robinson Cano for 2B rankings. Interesting note: 3 teams own the top 6 2B-eligible players (Wang, Phillips and Prado; Sherricks, Cano and Casey McGehee; RoughRiders, Dustin Pedroia and Rickie Weeks).
SS	Jose Reyes	Port City C.B.K's	400	Reyes is tied with AL starter Derek Jeter with 400 F-points but is averaging .5 more F-points per appearance. He's replacing Tulo on the NL roster. By the way, Prado is replacing Utley in the starting lineup, but I typed so much about him, he broke my computer.
SS	Troy Tulowitzki	BS's THE BENIS	402	Like Reyes, Tulo has missed about a quarter of the Rockies' games (and will miss the All-Star game). Despite that, he's still 2nd amongst SS in our league.
3B	Omar Infante	Free Agent	161	So, the Braves have 5 All-Stars, some much, much less deserving than others. (Where's Troy Glaus?) In his defense, Infante is eligible at 4 positions (2B, 3B, SS, OF), but that's probably his best attribute.
3B	Scott Rolen	Port City C.B.K's	543	Definitely a surprising year for Rolen. He's the 4th ranked 3B in our league and plays for those asshole Reds.
OF	Michael Bourn	Free Agent	313	Quoted from last year: Spider-Man: "Tell 'em Peter." Peter Griffin: "Apparently everybody gets one."
OF	Marlon Byrd	Byron's Wang	442	I had a vague perception that Marlon Byrd was still in the league. Evidently, I was right, and he's not having a terrible year (.304, 9 HRs, 43 runs).
OF	Corey Hart	Port City C.B.K's	567	Hart is currently ranked 14th overall in our league. He's tied for 7th with 19 HRs and 6th with 61 RBIs.
OF	Matt Holliday	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	485	Oddly enough, this is Bryan's doesn't-deserve-to-be-there pick of the year. Bryan would like you to compare Holliday's numbers (.297, 46 runs, 12 HRs, 42 RBIs, 51 Ks) to Colby Rasmus' numbers (.276, 49 runs, 16 HRS, 40 RBIs, 83 Ks). Now you can.
OF	Chris Young	Saratoga Redsox	542	Young has been on three F-teams this season but is putting up good numbers. However, he's losing the PPG contest 35 to 6.6 to the other Chris Young (who has made 1 start).

AL Roster

Starters

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
C	Joe Mauer	Team Manley	390	Mauer is the lowest-scoring 1st-round pick in our league, though he averages .5 F-points more per contest than Prince Fielder.
1B	Justin Morneau	What?What? In the butt....	587	Our 5th-ranked 1B was drafted in the 5th round. He's ranked 12th overall.
2B	Robinson Cano	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	627	Probably my best draft pick (not that it's much of a contest), Cano has been a beast at 2B this year (.337, 59 runs, 16 HRs, 55 RBIs).
SS	Derek Jeter	Byron's Wang	400	Jeter has actually surprised me with his fantasy output, considering he's not really a power hitter. He's the third-ranked SS in our league, though it's a pretty weak position.
3B	Evan Longoria	What?What? In the butt....	524	Longoria is having a very good year (.296, 12 HRs, 60 RBIs, 12 SBs). But that doesn't justify his draft position (9th overall), considering he's barely cracking the top 30 for batters.
OF	Josh Hamilton	What?What? In the butt....	646	After an insane June (.454, 9 HRs, 31 RBIs), Hamilton has shot up to the 7th spot for hitters.
OF	Ichiro Suzuki	What?What? In the butt....	373	I guess Jackling's plan was to add AL All-Stars during the season. Ichiro is averaging 0.9 fewer F-points per contest than his cousin Kurt Suzuki (5.4).
OF	Carl Crawford	What?What? In the butt....	617	Crawford is the 3rd ranked OF, which means Jackling has two-thirds (with Hamilton) of the top three OFs in our league, as well as the entire AL starting outfield.
DH	Vladimir Guerrero	Byron's Wang	760	I really wish Ken Griffey, Jr. was voted in here. Alas. Vlad is 54 F-points ahead of the next closest batter (A-Rod) but still 18 points behind Roy Halladay for the top spot on our F-points scoreboard. Kind of a surprise, right?

Pitchers

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
SP	Clay Buchholz	BS's THE BENIS	324	Buchholz, who has 2 Hs in his name, is 10-4 with a 2.45 ERA, but will be on the DL for the All-Star game.
SP	Trevor Cahill	Saratoga Redsox	226	Cahill is only owned in 74.1% of leagues. This is probably Brett Anderson's "everybody gets one" spot if he'd stayed healthy. Dammit.
SP	Fausto Carmona	Free Agent	192	At 7-7, Fausto is probably another "everybody gets one." So, why not Shin-Soo Choo? Or maybe Fausto was voted in on an if-my-team-is-going-to-trade-for-him-I-might-as-well-meet-him-at-the-All-Star-game swing.
CL	Neftali Feliz	What?What? In the butt....	251	Feliz is tied for 5th in the Majors with 22 saves so far.
SP	Phil Hughes	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	307	My man. Considering the Yankees skipped his spot during their first time through the rotation this season, I was very happy to wait and pick Hughes off the wire after the first few games of the season. Hughes is averaging 20.5 F-points per start, despite totaling -20 over his last two starts.
SP	Cliff Lee	Team Manley	440	Lee has really turned it on during his last 4 starts, tossing 3 of his 2nd-place-worthy 5 complete games. He might have gotten some Fausto votes as well.
SP	Jon Lester	Team Manley	464	Lester is 10-3 with a 2.76 ERA this season. He also has 118 Ks in 114 innings pitched.
SP	Andy Pettitte	Byron's Wang	339	At 10-2, Pettitte was selected to replace the injured Buchholz, who has 2 Hs in his name. Despite his replacement-player status, Pettitte is outscoring a lot of pitchers on this list, including Buchholz.
SP	David Price	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	418	My other best draft pick (snagged him in round 20), Price is the 9th ranked SP.
CL	Mariano Rivera	Byron's Wang	249	Rivera was the 1st closer drafted (in round 8) but is ranked 10th amongst closers.
SP	CC Sabathia	Port City C.B.K's	401	CC is 11-3 and hasn't lost since May 23rd. He's facing free agent Eric Bedard this weekend in Bedard's first start of the year. So if anybody wants Bedard...
CL	Joakim Soria	Byron's Wang	262	Since I started this blog (some 3 weeks ago), Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh both announced they're playing for the Heat, 3 players were taken off the fantasy wire (including 1 Drew Sutton), 5,142 babies were born, Bryan fell over 9 different times, and Drew Brees was "on the move" 17 times.
RP	Matt Thornton	Team Manley	173	This is the only RP-that's-not-a-closer-but-still-made-the-All-Star-team that's on anybody's team. Thornton is the 30th ranked RP in our league behind teammates Bobby Jenks and J.J. Putz.
CL	Jose Valverde	BS's THE BENIS	222	Valverde is one of many seemingly elite closers who averages fewer than the value of a save (8) per appearance (6.0)

Reserves

Position	Player	Fantasy Team	Fantasy Points	Notes
C	John Buck	Free Agent	308	Replaces the injured V-Mart. There are currently 4 F-teams with starting catchers who have been outscored by Buck this season.
C	Victor Martinez	Dallas RoughRiders	383	V-Mart trails only Mauer (by 7 F-points) despite the fact he's missed the last 8 games.
1B	Miguel Cabrera	Port City C.B.K's	702	Cabrera is killing it this season (.343, 63 runs, 21 HRs, 73 RBIs). If the season ended today, he'd win the triple crown (in either league). He's only behind hitters A-Rod and Vlad, both of whom have hit multiple grand slams. Cabrera has zero.
2B	Dustin Pedroia	Dallas RoughRiders	509	Another injured RoughRider, D-Pads (as Matthew calls him) is 3rd amongst 2B despite missing the Sox last 10 games.
2B	Ian Kinsler	What?What? In the butt....	361	Kinsler, who replaces Pedroia, has also missed a lot of time, but is 5th amongst 2B with more than 3 ABs (sorry again Drew Sutton).
2B	Ty Wigginton	Free Agent	352	Wigginton is another multi-positional (3B, 1B, 2B, DH) All-Star who is probably only here because "everybody gets one." He does have 14 dingers, though.
SS	Elvis Andrus	What?What? In the butt....	287	I told you SS was a weak position this year. Despite that, there are currently 8 free agent SS-eligible players who have outscored Andrus this season. I probably shouldn't mention things like that, though.
3B	Adrian Beltre	Saratoga Redsox	429	As some sort of cruel April Fool's joke, Jackling dropped Beltre on April 1 in favor of Chone Figgins. So far, Beltre is outscoring Figgins 429-189. Probably not a great move, in retrospect.
3B	Alex Rodriguez	Sherwood Forest Sherricks	706	After 96 F-points last night, A-Rod hopped into 2nd place amongst hitters. His 3 grand slams are a major reason why he's that high up and I've won more than 2 weeks.
OF	Jose Bautista	Dallas RoughRiders	528	Bautista is surprisingly tied for the league lead in HRs (21). Not a terrible mid-May pickup for the RoughRiders. Of the 4 players with 21 HRs (Bautista, Miguel Cabrera, Hamilton, and Joey Votto), Buatista has the fewest F-points on the year.
OF	Torii Hunter	Saratoga Redsox	547	This 7th ranked OF has a .302 with 50 runs, 14 HRs, and 60 RBIs.
OF	Vernon Wells	What?What? In the butt....	547	This 7th ranked OF has a .273 with 45 runs, 19 HRs, and 48 RBIs.
DH	David Ortiz	BS's THE BENIS	479	Seriously, we couldn't replace David Ortiz (who was batting exactly .200 on May 12th) with Ken Griffey, Jr. (who was also batting exactly .200 on May 12th)?

So, totals:

Team Manley: 6 All-Stars (2 starters)

Dallas RoughRiders: 6 All-Stars (1 starter)

Sherwood Forest Sherricks: 7 All-Stars (2 starters)

BS's THE BENIS: 8 All-Stars (0 starters)

Free Agent: 8 All-Stars (1 starter)

Saratoga Redsox: 8 All-Stars (1 starter)

Port City C.B.K's: 8 All-Stars (1 starter)

What?What? In the butt....: 9 All-Stars (5 starters)

Byron's Wang: 11 All-Stars (4 starters)

Quote of the Week:

From: Me
To: Bryan
Subject: Damned Ryan Franklin

"He saved your fantasy ass, though. I came up with a new word for that sort of bittersweet fantasy game: suck/rule. It's pronounced suckrule, like the SuckCut from Wayne's World."

Yes, I'm quoting myself, but it's a good word. You should use it. Or not.

(By the way, Franklin lost the game for the Cardinals – gave up six earned runs – but kept Bryan in our fantasy matchup by losing 23 F-points for my team. So, Franklin's appearance suck/ruled for Bryan, not me. It just sucked for me.)